When I first found out about this thing, it hit me like a pound of herring*, and I felt like a different person. Different in some unexpectedly but also slightly cliche good ways. Like, reordering of priorities, consciousness of mortality, appreciation of "the little things", true empathy with anyone in suffering, etc. etc. Just basically a more conscious and appreciative and kinder and deeper person. Good things, right?
But two and a half months on and still in "watch and wait" mode, I find myself becoming complacent and forgetful. Wanting to be a deeper person but not wanting to have to actually suffer to achieve it.
Next MRI scheduled for Jan 19, consultation Jan. 22. I'll find out then if I have to have my head cut open or not. Whether or not I'll have to experience some more-or-less real suffering. Hopefully less!
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*(just trying to come up with an alternative to the cliche "ton of bricks")